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Horace: Requeiscat in Pace

Well, Uncle Horace Scherzer died last week; he was 88 years old but that’s a bit early to go for a Scherzer. Most all Scherzers make it to the late 90s. Of course by then they don’t see too good and most don’t hear at all, but hey they can still breathe in and out and that’s what counts. Doc Patterson said that Horace’s heart just give out, that he shouldn’t have been running at his age.The story is that he was chasing Jenny Miller. Horace was rabbit hunting and he saw Jenny picking huckleberries. Now Jenny was a kissing cousin of Horace’s; she was the daughter of Will Miller and Will was a grandson of Horace’s Uncle George Miller.

Anyways, Jenny was a relation. I guess she was a kissing cousin but I don’t believe Uncle Horace had kissing in mind when they met in that berry batch. I think Horace made his intentions pretty clear and then Jenny took off. Jenny was sixteen and she had been out-running some of her older cousins since she was twelve so it really wasn’t a fair contest. Jenny said later that Horace kept yelling at her that he just wanted to talk. She didn’t believe him because when he put his shotgun down his hands didn’t turn to berry pickin’. If she was going to entertain a cousin, and she had already entertained several of her choice, it wouldn’t be a near toothless 88-year-old man dribbling tobacco juice, so she ran off.

The question is why Horace ran full tilt up a hill after her: He must have knowed he could never catch her. Maybe wherever Horace is right now he has caught his Jenny Miller because he is twenty-five years old again. Maybe he figured if the last thing he ever did was to die chasing a pretty girl he’d have her for eternity … Of course it’s also possible that old Horace is spending eternity still eighty-eight years old with a bad pain in his chest and forever chasing uphill after a pretty girl he can never catch. I like the first part better, but Horace ain’t tellin’ and I’m no preacher!

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