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Adultery in the marital bedroom — a no-no

Ask the Family Lawyer, by Jeanne M. HannahA recent article in the New York Times gives new meaning to the phrase “Don’t Try this at Home!” Several lawyers and marriage counselors around the country are quoted, among them Richard Roane, a Michigan family law attorney with Warner, Norcross and Judd in Grand Rapids.  What not to do? No hanky panky in the marital bed!

Having sex with your paramour raises the emotional stakes, makes divorces more acrimonious, and can result in a disparate property settlement.

In some states, Georgia, for example according to Kessler, a cheating spouse cannot get alimony.

Whether you’re a family lawyer or a layperson, you’ll be sure to find something in this interesting article. You can read it using the link below. A one-time registration may be required.

Wadler, Joyce, Don’t Try This at Home: Adultery in the Marital Bed, New York Times, Jan. 12, 2011

See an earlier post here:  Marital infidelity | The fallout after a spouse has an extra-marital affair

  • Jrderney

    Marriage means nothing other than future divorce litigation fees to lawyers. Marriage dissolution is there for the asking, this is the problem.

    • Jeannemhannah

      I interpret your comment to say that Michigan’s no-fault divorce laws are the problem and that lawyers thrive on fomenting the breakdown of a marriage. As an active member of the State Bar of Michigan’s Family Law Section and of the ABA Family Law Section, I would not describe my colleagues as breathlessly awaiting the next divorce case and looking at “marriage [as] nothing other than future divorce litigation.” However, personal and public perceptions differ. Are all horses black? Are all skies blue? Are all lawyers sharks? Of course not.

  • Az1cowgirl

    I read the article refered to in this Record Eagle blog and all I can say is shame on you all for focusing any attention on something so ridiculous. This article is basically saying that having an affair is bad but somehow morally worse if the cheater has sex in the marital bed. Seriously? Have our morals sunk so deep that there are now “terms” or “conditions” on how bad an affair is? Cheating is cheating and it’s wrong, morally corrupt and to publish such foolishness is just a waste of paper and space.

    • Detroitguy

      A woman that has her head on straight, REFRESHING!

      Marriage is a lifetime commitment.  Long before the State put their stamp of approval on a family, GOD did.  One did not immediately pursue “divorce” from one another when things were unpleasant.  Certainly $200 paid hourly to a lawyer was not required.  Further alienating a man and woman from each other in the pursuit of retaining and/or obtaining material possessions.  Not too mention treating children as chattel property.

      Morals and integrity in deference to the Good LORD requires no dispositions, or “retainer please?”

  • Jeannemhannah

    I’m sorry that you formed this impression about my post. As a family lawyer, I remain committed to encouraging clients to get marital counseling to resolve such issues rather than to divorce because of them.

    Affairs are not necessarily the cause of a breakdown in the marital relationship, and are more often a symptom that the marriage has already broken down. The question then becomes: Can two married people work through their problems, learn to communicate better, and stay married? The point as I saw it was that the feelings of betrayal of trust are greater when someone brings a third party into the marital bed. It’s difficult to put the pieces together after that.

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